The Freedom to be myself

Over the last few days there have been a few incidents where people gave me flak for stuff written here on my blog like my modo vs. Cinema 4D comparison or my opinions on MOX and I think it’s time to once and for all set a few things straight.

First, everyone have their eyes on the tag line of this blog. It says “The world as a strange place and my views on it.” Yepp, exactly that. If you come here for ultimate wisdom, then you have wrong expectations. All of what you can find here is my own personal opinion and my own nerdy, but still limited understanding of some things. I cannot tell you what’s wrong or right or what’s good for you. Hell, I often don’t know what’s good for me. You still have to make up your own friggin’ mind and at best use my own confused ramblings as a guide.

Second, I never made any claims or pretense that any of what I write here would be “neutral” or “objective”. To use a quote from my beloved Babylon 5‘s episode The Illusion of Truth: “The objective journalist is a myth.” So yes, everything is filtered, biased and colored by my own experiences and perceptions – just like your blog would be/ is. I leave out stuff that is not relevant or think that nobody is interested in just as I don’t tell you my darkest secrets.

Third, and that is probably the biggest issue, don’t assume I’m writing this stuff here just to ruin everyone’s day. The way I tick, I keep running this stuff through my head over and over again. That of course often means that I get lost in my own over-analyzing of things and appear as the eternal fountain of unhappiness because I’m never satisfied with anything or may even arrive at completely wrong conclusions. Add to that my awkwardness of expressing some things and not choosing the right words, some articles taking days and weeks to write and me simply losing track, not having enough time to investigate all details and you can imagine what a bloody mess this can be. I can only promise to try and do better, but I would ask that instead of picking apart my posts in pointless discussions on forums you add comments to them here or contact me directly and I can see how I can provide a more balanced view or correct stuff that is wrong. Also, just because I think that e.g. some feature in Cinema 4D is garbage doesn’t mean that I would be able to rewrite the whole program myself nor is it necessary. People all too often forget that you don’t have to be Rembrandt and can still be an art critic.

Finally, people often accuse me of peeing on their lawn for no reason. Do I? I don’t know. I don’t think in those terms. Yes, I don’t get along easily with other people because my mild case of Asperger makes it often extremely difficult to interpret the subtext of some responses and the other time I simply don’t care because the trivialities of life don’t interest me, scare me or are simply too confusing and overwhelming. The world out there for me is a strange place indeed. Still, I don’t think I’m a complete monster. While it may be a learned social behavior, I have actually reached a point where I get along with people and can start a conversation and joke around when I pick up my bread rolls at the bakery.

That’s also something some seem to forget: The virtual world is different from the real counterpart and there is a lot of misunderstanding due to language issues, cultural differences and other folly that ensues. Not everything should be taken that seriously – something that is meant in the best possible way can of course sometimes be offensive to someone when spoken with carelessness. Beyond that I have to take other people’s word for it – I’m actually easy-going and sometimes even funny to be around. I hope that wherever you are, you are, too, and that despite all the silliness you’d be the person to have a drink with after even the most heated shouting at one another….

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